Many couples find themselves in a situation where they want to include small humans in their big day. Flower girls and ring bearers can be an adorable addition to a wedding ceremony, or they can be a little bit of a disaster. Here are a couple tips for preparing for these wee attendants.
First and foremost, talk to the parents. Don’t assume that these kiddos can be up to the task of preforming in front of a crowd. Ask the people that know them best, and be upfront with your expectations. Do you want them at all the bridal events? (Bridal shower, rehearsal - you do!, reception?) Do you simply want them to walk down the aisle and then be whisked away?
Plan their outfits. Dress the little ones up! Just like a looking our best gives us big kids confidence, dressing the Little’s up can give them the swagger to walk down the aisle like a pro!
Have them attend the ceremony rehearsal. This is a great way to give the kids, and you, a sneak peak of what to expect on the big day. If you have a wedding coordinator this is a good time for them to get to know the kids, since they will be directing them the day of. It is especially helpful if you are rehearsing in the actual ceremony space. Giving them markers like “walk towards daddy” or “see the tall man with the funny hat, walk towards him” can simplify things. I have found that bribery can also be a powerful means of persuasion.
Give them something special to hold. Traditionally this is flower pedals or a ring pillow, but many venues now are not allowing pedals to be thrown on the ground and actually giving a ring bearer rings is risky business. Maybe the flower girl carries a teddy bear dressed up for the day, or maybe she gets a small mini bouquet. The ring bearers can carry a pillow with no rings, or sign or something else fun.
Embrace the disaster. If you end up with a rogue flower girl, don’t sweat it. Let her have a moment, someone will wrangler her and it will make for some adorable photos.
Alternative flower girl idea: Do you have one or two special ladies in your life? Like your grandma, godmother or friend of your parents that was always around? Make them the flower girl! Not only will they nail the job, it is something different and frankly, quite adorable.
No matter if you have flower girls and ring bearers, or if you have an adults only ceremony - remember that this is your wedding. Do whatever you want!